Social Misconceptions: “Think Like A Man.”

Think like a man. A statement that has gained significant steam in the last few years. The eponymous movie that came out earlier this year, various books, articles, and other print media… All of these have aptly described a social revolution within the psyche of the lesser praised gender: women.

What are women? I mean this both scientifically and philosophically. Scientifically they possess the same sex chromosome (XX). They have internal sex organs. They have eggs and ovaries for the bearing of children. They have slightly different cognitive makeup (I admire psychology but I’d never purport to be any expert in the field). They have different social strata and rules of engagement. Different emotional impetuses. And so on.

Philosophically women represent the balance to men. They are the proverbial yin to our yang; their very existence fulfills the quintessence of cosmic balance. We are the seed of man, they are the fertile ground. I do subscribe to a Judeo-Christian school of thought, so I do see men as symbolic leaders. However, if we are to lead, it isn’t a perjorative “follower” role a woman occupies, but instead she is cultivator. The age old adage is “behind every great man is a great woman”. In a book by John Eldredge, Wild At Heart, he points out a term used in the Old Testament ezer kenegdo. The exact meaning of this term is a bit contested, but it has been narrowed down to: suitable helper and a more potent, more agreed upon meaning life saver.

Life saver. Women are our life savers. We are to symbolically lead, they are to symbolically “save lives”.

When you break down what it means to be a woman, you can clearly see that the chauvinism we’ve seen through the ages was NOT what was intended. Just like any gray area like race or sexual orientation, people have taken their personal interpretations and superimposed them over the annals of time. Women were never meant to be second class citizens, nor were they ever meant to be domesticated. A woman’s place is not in the kitchen, at home with the kids, or on her knees pleasing her “man”. A person is never property, therefore, the treatment as such directly violates our supposedly egalitarian logic. A woman’s place and purpose is to counterbalance her spouse. In the harmony generated between those two people, a natural synergy will come to fruition. Perhaps the man is an alpha male and he assumes a classic dominance over the household. Perhaps the woman is more dominant. Perhaps there is an equal presence. Whatever the agreement, the fact of the matter is one must agree with the other.

Just like two magnets generating a force over one another, men and women exchange energies. They are equal, but for millennia the male’s efforts were highlighted. What occurred was a rational reaction, easily explained by my IgR Theory. As cultures mixed and society increasingly liberalized, reactions formed over time. These in turn created “social eddies”, or small intracultural reactions which propagate a particular belief. These generational reactions explain certain things like why so many black men are absent in their children’s lives or why sex is suddenly wildly embraced.
I’m digressing like a muh fucca doe…

What the IgR Theory says in this circumstance is that women, in reaction to prior generations and traditions rebelled against the status quo and adopted many of the same tactics that had been used against them by men. There were the extremists like feminists who were much more militant and of course a myriad of others. As an equilibrium was formed and society went through the 80s, 90s, and 2000s, women truly began to see that the power was still wielded by the majority of men.

Thus bringing us to now. (I hope I didn’t lose you).

I don’t want to tread on any egg shells and if I piss any leftist feminists off, I apologize, but at the end of the day women have no business “thinking like men”, nor do men have any business “thinking like women”. These phrases are foolhardy to me because they strip each gender of the unique and blessed qualities inherent to each. But our dating world has become so marred with “games”. Womanizers and man-eaters. Distrust. Jumping through hoops. Commitment issues. Fear of intimacy. Daddy issues. Et al. Our world has further revealed its innards as being comprised of absolute confusion.

The result is now a free for all. The rules of engagement have shifted to more insidious, self absorbed mutations. One where a woman is not interested in cultivating and men are never in a position to lead. More men are now leeches and women are left to be breadwinners. Children are raised in single parent homes, where the woman is forced to teach a boy how to be a man, something that is just not possible. There is an unspoken, intangible exchange of substance between a father (or father figure) and his son, something that cannot be synthesized by a woman.

Men have fallen from their post and the reaction is that women have had to step up into roles they were never meant to have. So now dating and courtship have mutated irreversibly. Guards are miles high, expectations are live minefields.

I love women. I love them because they are the most magnificent of God’s creations. They hold the womb, the blessing to give life. I pray for my future wife often and my prayer is always that she loves me for me. That’s what really matters. However, I plan on being a man in whatever relationship I find myself in, therefore I want her to be comfortable being a woman. We cannot step on each others’ feet trying to ‘outgame’ one another. I cannot start “thinking like a woman” so that I “even the playing field”. Nor can she do vice versa.

We must find an agreeable common ground. That is both of our roles. To be completed by God and to growth together.

The yin cannot try to be the yang. Black cannot try to be white. Up cannot try to be down. Everything in the universe must have balance.

Man and woman must find and cherish that balance.

bryce

(The picture below describes gender roles perfectly. The man supports the structure, but the woman is necessary to balance it)

Think Like A Man.

Think like a man. A statement that has gained significant steam in the last few years. The eponymous movie that came out earlier this year, various books, articles, and other print media… All of these have aptly described a social revolution within the psyche of the lesser praised gender: women.

What are women? I mean this both scientifically and philosophically. Scientifically they possess the same sex chromosome (XX). They have internal sex organs. They have eggs and ovaries for the bearing of children. They have slightly different cognitive makeup (I admire psychology but I’d never purport to be any expert in the field). They have different social strata and rules of engagement. Different emotional impetuses. And so on.

Philosophically women represent the balance to men. They are the proverbial yin to our yang; their very existence fulfills the quintessence of cosmic balance. We are the seed of man, they are the fertile ground. I do subscribe to a Judeo-Christian school of thought, so I do see men as symbolic leaders. However, if we are to lead, it isn’t a perjorative “follower” role a woman occupies, but instead she is cultivator. The age old adage is “behind every great man is a great woman”. In a book by John Eldredge, Wild At Heart, he points out a term used in the Old Testament ezer kenegdo. The exact meaning of this term is a bit contested, but it has been narrowed down to: suitable helper and a more potent, more agreed upon meaning life saver.

Life saver. Women are our life savers. We are to symbolically lead, they are to symbolically “save lives”.

When you break down what it means to be a woman, you can clearly see that the chauvinism we’ve seen through the ages was NOT what was intended. Just like any gray area like race or sexual orientation, people have taken their personal interpretations and superimposed them over the annals of time. Women were never meant to be second class citizens, nor were they ever meant to be domesticated. A woman’s place is not in the kitchen, at home with the kids, or on her knees pleasing her “man”. A person is never property, therefore, the treatment as such directly violates our supposedly egalitarian logic. A woman’s place and purpose is to counterbalance her spouse. In the harmony generated between those two people, a natural synergy will come to fruition. Perhaps the man is an alpha male and he assumes a classic dominance over the household. Perhaps the woman is more dominant. Perhaps there is an equal presence. Whatever the agreement, the fact of the matter is one must agree with the other.

Just like two magnets generating a force over one another, men and women exchange energies. They are equal, but for millennia the male’s efforts were highlighted. What occurred was a rational reaction, easily explained by my IgR Theory. As cultures mixed and society increasingly liberalized, reactions formed over time. These in turn created “social eddies”, or small intracultural reactions which propagate a particular belief. These generational reactions explain certain things like why so many black men are absent in their children’s lives or why sex is suddenly wildly embraced.
I’m digressing like a muh fucca doe…

What the IgR Theory says in this circumstance is that women, in reaction to prior generations and traditions rebelled against the status quo and adopted many of the same tactics that had been used against them by men. There were the extremists like feminists who were much more militant and of course a myriad of others. As an equilibrium was formed and society went through the 80s, 90s, and 2000s, women truly began to see that the power was still wielded by the majority of men.

Thus bringing us to now. (I hope I didn’t lose you).

I don’t want to tread on any egg shells and if I piss any leftist feminists off, I apologize, but at the end of the day women have no business “thinking like men”, nor do men have any business “thinking like women”. These phrases are foolhardy to me because they strip each gender of the unique and blessed qualities inherent to each. But our dating world has become so marred with “games”. Womanizers and man-eaters. Distrust. Jumping through hoops. Commitment issues. Fear of intimacy. Daddy issues. Et al. Our world has further revealed its innards as being comprised of absolute confusion.

The result is now a free for all. The rules of engagement have shifted to more insidious, self absorbed mutations. One where a woman is not interested in cultivating and men are never in a position to lead. More men are now leeches and women are left to be breadwinners. Children are raised in single parent homes, where the woman is forced to teach a boy how to be a man, something that is just not possible. There is an unspoken, intangible exchange of substance between a father (or father figure) and his son, something that cannot be synthesized by a woman.

Men have fallen from their post and the reaction is that women have had to step up into roles they were never meant to have. So now dating and courtship have mutated irreversibly. Guards are miles high, expectations are live minefields.

I love women. I love them because they are the most magnificent of God’s creations. They hold the womb, the blessing to give life. I pray for my future wife often and my prayer is always that she loves me for me. That’s what really matters. However, I plan on being a man in whatever relationship I find myself in, therefore I want her to be comfortable being a woman. We cannot step on each others’ feet trying to ‘outgame’ one another. I cannot start “thinking like a woman” so that I “even the playing field”. Nor can she do vice versa.

We must find an agreeable common ground. That is both of our roles. To be completed by God and to growth together.

The yin cannot try to be the yang. Black cannot try to be white. Up cannot try to be down. Everything in the universe must have balance.

Man and woman must find and cherish that balance.

bryce

(The picture below describes gender roles perfectly. The man supports the structure, but the woman is necessary to balance it)

Love Fearlessly

In today’s society there are so many pitfalls which people can find themselves trapped in. We have unprecedented access to technology, unprecedented access to information, and unprecedented access to other people’s experiences. As I’ve discussed extensively on this blog and my other social networking sites, this has had both positive and negative effects on societal perceptions.

How many of us have trust issues? How many of us no longer believe in true love? How many of us no longer believe in our soul mate? How many of us were hurt by someone when we were young and gullible and now have mile high guard walls up?

I could technically ask these questions to any generation and get similar answers; however, I postulate that in this day and age, we’re seeing unprecedented numbers. Young people extensively damaged by not only their own experiences, but also equally affected by the missteps they observed taken by parents and other elders. That’s been the main issue I’ve been trying to drive home for about 2 years now, Intergenerational Reactions (IgR Theory). The IgR Theory states that on a sociological, psychological, philosophical, and theological scale, the actions taken by older generations will either cause affirmative or detractive effects in successive generations.

What this has created is a milieu of rampant confusion and partiality. The confusion is due to the nature of the IgR Theory. Recall the time in chemistry lab when you were to combine two substances to make some specified compound. The solid that came out of solution was called a “precipitate”. Now, the precipitate was not the only product of that reaction. There were, often times, other lesser prevalent compounds also created. Think of society as an enormous reaction (orders of magnitude larger than a basic chemistry experiment) with trillions of reagents all combining to make a precipitate compound. The product would be a mishmash of different products. That is what we have in 2012. On one hand, we do have those who saw love burgeon with our fathers, mothers, and grandparents and work to emulate. Then we the opposite side of the spectrum, those that invariably denounce love and want nothing to do with it.

Then we have the emotional soup that is everything in between. Those that have the aforementioned trust issues, those that believe in true love but don’t know how to find it, those that trick off love due to varying lapses in character, and those that just mess up and perpetuate the cycle itself.

I could go on and on. My narcissism is the reason why I’m single. A few of my exes’ immaturity was the reason we broke up. There are billions of indexes we can use to qualify/quantify this described spectrum, but there is a very simple solution to this chimera I’ve illustrated. The answer is so anticlimactic, so ubiquitous, so unimaginative that I hope most of my readers won’t abandon this post altogether…

The answer to our dating scene’s love problems: To love more pure.

I know, I know… How do we solve our love problems, Bryce? By loving? Pure? What the fuck does that even mean? Bear with me.

I have taken a keen interest in a young woman by the name of Shannon. Gorgeous child. However, there are a series of adapted fail safes built into my emotional center which do not allow me to love anyone unabated. Part of these “firewalls” are intrinsic personality traits. I can be cold, calculating, and impersonal until someone gives me a reason to be otherwise. As aforementioned, I am a narcissist and I believe that a woman should show me certain things to prove she is on my level. My narcissism gives way often to arrogance and a deferential exterior. I am hopelessly complex, with more twists and turns in my personality than anyone I know. I am hopelessly romantic, yet TERRIFIED of rejection. I am hypersensitive and I react by withdrawal at any sign of insult, inequality, or hesitation. All of these factor in to my daily defense mechanisms. The reason of these guards have been erected over the years. From ex to ex I have strived diligently not to repeat mistakes, so I detach myself from people at the first sign of problems. I do not love purely, I sample then scramble.

Now I am not saying that you should “boom” open your heart to just anybody, but instead to look closely at the people who are in fact in your life and see if you are giving them everything you have. If you aren’t, why not? 1 John 4 says “perfect love casts away fear”. If you are not operating in perfect love, what are you afraid of?

Alicia Keys has a song called “Like You’ll Never See Me Again”. In the chorus she says “every time you hold me, hold me like this is the last time. Every time you kiss me, kiss me like you’ll never seen me again”. How many of us are loving that vibrantly? How many of us are loving unconditionally? How many of us are loving fearlessly. Now let’s say you’re among those that did love that way and you got hurt… Hell let’s say you got hurt more than once. Here’s the question I pose to you: have you ever “hurt” your mother? “Hurt” your father? Did they give up on you? Have you ever “hurt” a friend? Did they give you another chance?

Have you done something to “hurt” God?

*disclaimer: this love discourse is only apropos to those in healthy relationships. If you are dating an aint shit nigga, trifling female, or someone of that lot, then your fearless love will probably end in pain. FYI

Commence: You must be willing to get knocked down a million times by life and get up a million and one times. The secret to overcoming love issues is to continue to love then love harder. Not love or trust on “your conditions” or have people “prove” to you their worth, but to follow the discerning spirit God put in you. (You guys should already know that any advice I solicit comes with a prerequisite of prayer, because I believe humans to be woefully lost creatures. Hence why our society is in the shitter. But that’s a subject for another day)

When you love, love is returned. When you trust, trust is returned. You get out of life what you put in, but just like the chemistry/society reaction I illustrated above, sometimes you don’t get the exact product at the exact time you want. Doesn’t mean that its never going to precipitate. Love, trust, and even passion are all things that take time and must be worked in order to experience them in full fruition. Furthermore, you have to be willing to let go of the delusional fabrications you may have about love (I’m talking to you Bryce). The person won’t be perfect (Bryce). They won’t be some cosmic anomaly which bends the space time continuum (Bryce, you listening?). They will simply be your completion. The subtle answer to your heart’s questions. An inspiration. A divine blessing. They will solicit a feeling, NOT just from your heart (a crazed up silly metaphysical location), but one that resonates deep, deep within your spirit. The component of the human condition which taps Infinite Wisdom.

So if you are with someone you love, then love them like its the last time you’ll see them, every time you see them. If they act funny or you fall apart, then they were never right for you. But one day, you’ll find yourself embraced by a heart that beats synchronous to yours. Samuel and Marcel Brown.

You will never grow tomatoes planting pebbles, so why would distrust or un-love reap trust and love?

Let go of your fears of neglect, abandonment, and disappointment. They are illusions and hindrances, keeping you from experiencing life as you want it. You must love fearlessly or love will forever flee from you.

bryce

God’s Will, Your Wants, Life’s Struggles

As a Christian I hear people often make statements about how God feels about our personal finances. Words and phrases like “perfect will” and “permissive will” are often thrown around helter skelter, with much being left open to people’s interpretation given their personalities and life experiences.

There are those in the world who are bullish; brutes who will stop at nothing to achieve what they want. They are not necessarily opportunists, but simply dedicated to that which they have set out to do. The word no does not exist in their functional lexicon. In contrast, there are those who rely heavily on what they experience. If they come across an obstacle that seems insurmountable, then they adopt a fatalistic view on that particular situation, assuming that its a closed door instead of persevering. They allow life to mold them as opposed to it being the other way around.

I’m no bible scholar. However, the Good Book calls for people like me to become much more forceful in their approach to life. For centuries just like the universally accepted Euro-centric, feminine Christ depictions, many view the demeanor of Christians as needing to be meek and mild approaches. However, Hebrews 4:16 instructs us to “come boldly before the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Notice the usage of boldly and with confidence, not meek and shy. When you think of taking something by force or with unshakable will, you can turn your spirit’s eye to a few individuals in the Bible. The Old Testament is rife with people that were seemingly unwavering in their quest to fulfill personal and spiritual goals.

The Book Of Joshua talks about the Children of Israel as they first began to conquer the promised land or Canaan. Their forefathers were the Jews that wandered the desert for 40 years due to their inability to get with Jehovah’s program. Joshua & Caleb were a part of the younger generation that were faithful and trusting of God in totality. Joshua was one of the 12 spies sent into Canaan and reported that there were in fact giants — Nephilim— for my learned readers existing within the lands. Now, let’s be real folks. You and your parents wandered in the desert (Sin Desert) for years, got to a land supposedly promised to your culture’s forefather, Abraham, and now there are giants, heroes, “men of renown”? You’d start concocting logic as well. Perhaps you’d “wait” until God told you another way in, because surely a benevolent deity wouldn’t submit you to such gruesome circumstances.

But Joshua & Caleb stayed firm in what they believed — no — what they knew was the destiny bestowed upon the chosen people. They did not see a closed door as a no from God, but instead as a temporary obstacle. While the other 10 spies were struck with a plague, Joshua and Caleb were able to enter the land as promised.

Once again though, let’s be quite frank. We’re reading a book thousands of years old about an obscure group of people, therefore the hindsight that we all tend to don is beyond 20/20. Stories like this in the bible are so easy to extrapolate and scour, because we weren’t there. We simply are taking what was recorded. If we were there, many of us would’ve been A) a part of the mumbling, grumbling Children wandering for 40 years B) one of the 10 spies saying f this, let’s bail, God isn’t here or C) confused as hell wondering why God was so damn cryptic and distant. The bible, just like most literature makes things so cut and dry, so black and white, that its easy to glean understanding. But this was real life for these people…

So what then? Faith.

What is faith…? Man, this is something that scholars, theologians, and other pompous and pedantic peons of piety have been going on about for millenia. Faith is courage. I don’t care which scripture you choose to define it further, but it all comes back to courage. Well okay… Courage in what?

THE THINGS GOD HAS PUT IN YOU.

My favorite scriptures to use in tandem are Proverbs 16:3 “Commit thy works unto the Lord and thy thoughts shall be established” and Matthew 7:7 “ask and it shall be given unto you, seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you”. If you are doing things for God (committing your works), then your thoughts will be established. If your thoughts are established, then you know what God has for you (Jeremiah 29:11). If you know what God has for you then what you ask for will be in direct alignment with His divine will for your life.

Another duo I love: Proverbs 16:9 “a man’s heart deviseth a way, but the LORD directeth his steps”. And my favorite scripture Phillipians 4:19 “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in Christ Jesus”. Using tandem #1, I’ve established that I’m committing my thoughts unto Him, trusting in His promise, and knowing what to ask. With His thoughts now my thoughts, I devise a path for myself which He subsequently directs. While along this path I am praying that He meets my needs — and He will.

So what now Bryce? You’ve kicked out some scriptures, hit us with interpretation, why am I still struggling? Why have I been praying for 2 years for a breakthrough and received nothing? Why can’t I pay my rent? Why can’t I get that promotion? Its not God’s will? I’m not thinking the right thoughts?

I need everyone to get out of that mode of thinking, because it is that very same discourse that lead me away from the church in my teenage years. Defeated Christians at the alter every damn Sunday, wailing over the same old problems. God is not a genie. He is not a jinn. He is not a magic 8 ball. If He put something on your heart you MUST go after it with reckless abandon. Yes, there are times when you are in trouble and you need to adhere to Psalm 46:10 “be still and know I am God”. HOWEVER, life is war. Success is war. Progress is war. You must be willing to fight and TAKE what you KNOW God has put on your heart for you to have. Going back to Jeremiah 29:11 “for I know the thoughts I thinketh towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end”.

Poverty and lack are not in there. You will suffer, you will fight, you will cry. Why? Because life can be a bitch. But if you want something as bad as you want to breathe air, that’s what has been put on your heart by God. You must go out and create opportunities for yourself under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. You must go out and conquer your Canaan, regardless of the circumstances that seem much bigger than you. Why? Because that’s God’s perfect will.

I have some other alternative views on Jehovah’s “will” for our life that I may enumerate another day, but I am one that subscribes to a theory that God doesn’t care whether you become the president of the US or the principal at your local school, as long as you accept his Son. Therefore, to get so caught up in the weakling’s discourse of “is this God’s will?” during a job hunt becomes murky ground for me. Jesus said that God can make a pearl appear in a fish’s mouth if you have the faith. He controls nature for crying out loud, act as someone who is His child and take a bold stance with life.

It is his will that you “may have life and have it more abundantly” (John 10:10), whether that is financially, spiritually, emotionally, or romantically is between you and God. It is a dual relationship. Stop living defeated and talk to Him about what you want. Align your thoughts and heart with His (“draw nigh unto God and He will draw nigh unto you” James 4:8). & you will KNOW His will for your life.

It will then be up to you to choose whether or not you believe it.

Are you a Joshua? Will you bullishly believe what God puts in your spirit? Or are you like the other 10? Afraid of conflict because its not the easiest thing God couldve done?

When you answer that you’ll know why you haven’t paid rent or gotten the promotion.

Be courageous. Be crazy. Be confident. God loves it. Its the craziest of the bunch he exalts to places of esteem.

bryce

God’s Will, Your Wants, Life’s Struggles

As a Christian I hear people often make statements about how God feels about our personal finances. Words and phrases like “perfect will” and “permissive will” are often thrown around helter skelter, with much being left open to people’s interpretation given their personalities and life experiences.

There are those in the world who are bullish; brutes who will stop at nothing to achieve what they want. They are not necessarily opportunists, but simply dedicated to that which they have set out to do. The word no does not exist in their functional lexicon. Then there are those who rely heavily on what they experience. If they come across an obstacle that seems insurmountable, then all of the sudden its God telling them no. If they come across a door that is open its automatically a yes. Their interpretation of will is as malleable as matter itself.

I’m no bible scholar. However, the bible calls for people like me to become much more forceful in their approach to life. For centuries the Euro-Centric, feminine Christ that was depicted, have caused most people to have visions of meek and mild approaches. However, Hebrews 4:16 instructs us to “come boldly before the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Notice the usage of boldly and with confidence, not meek and shy. When you think of taking something by force or with unshakable will, you can turn your spirit’s eye to a few individuals in the Bible. The Old Testament is rife with people that were seemingly unwavering in their quest to fulfill personal and spiritual goals.

The Book Of Joshua talks about the Children of Israel as they first began to conquer the promised land or Canaan. Their forefathers were the Jews that wandered the desert for 40 years due to their inability to get with Jehovah’s program. Joshua & Caleb were a part of the younger generation that were faithful and trusting of God in totality. Joshua was one of the 12 spies sent into Canaan and reported that there were in fact giants — Nephilim— for my learned readers existing within the lands. Now, let’s be real folks. You and your parents wandered in the desert (Sin Desert) for years, got to a land supposedly promised to your culture’s forefather, Abraham, and now there are giants, heroes, “men of renown”? You’d start concocting logic as well. Perhaps you’d “wait” until God told you another way in, because surely a benevolent deity wouldn’t submit you to such gruesome circumstances.

But Joshua & Caleb stayed firm in what they believed — no — what they knew was the destiny bestowed upon the chosen people. They did not see a closed door as a no from God, but instead as a temporary obstacle. While the other 10 spies were struck with a plague, Joshua and Caleb were able to enter the land as promised.

Once again though, let’s be quite frank. We’re reading a book thousands of years old about an obscure group of people, therefore the hindsight that we all tend to don is beyond 20/20. Stories like this in the bible are so easy to extrapolate and scour, because we weren’t there. We simply are taking what was recorded. If we were there, many of us would’ve been A) a part of the mumbling, grumbling Children wandering for 40 years B) one of the 10 spies saying f this, let’s bail, God isn’t here or C) confused as hell wondering why God was so damn cryptic and distant. The bible, just like most literature makes things so cut and dry, so black and white, that its easy to glean understanding. But this was real life for these people…

So what then? Faith.

What is faith…? Man, this is something that scholars, theologians, and other pompous and pedantic peons of piety have been going on about for millenia. Faith is courage. I don’t care which scripture you choose to define it further, but it all comes back to courage. Well okay… Courage in what?

THE THINGS GOD HAS PUT IN YOU.

My favorite scriptures to use in tandem are Proverbs 16:3 “Commit thy works unto the Lord and thy thoughts shall be established” and Matthew 7:7 “ask and it shall be given unto you, seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you”. If you are doing things for God (committing your works), then your thoughts will be established. If your thoughts are established, then you know what God has for you (Jeremiah 29:11). If you know what God has for you then what you ask for will be in direct alignment with His divine will for your life.

Another duo I love: Proverbs 16:9 “a man’s heart deviseth a way, but the LORD directeth his steps”. And my favorite scripture Phillipians 4:19 “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in Christ Jesus”. Using tandem #1, I’ve established that I’m committing my thoughts unto Him, trusting in His promise, and knowing what to ask. With His thoughts now my thoughts, I devise a path for myself which He subsequently directs. While along this path I am praying that He meets my needs — and He will.

So what now Bryce? You’ve kicked out some scriptures, hit us with interpretation, why am I still struggling? Why have I been praying for 2 years for a breakthrough and received nothing? Why can’t I pay my rent? Why can’t I get that promotion? Its not God’s will? I’m not thinking the right thoughts?

I need everyone to get out of that mode of thinking, because it is that very same discourse that lead me away from the church in my teenage years. Defeated Christians at the alter every damn Sunday, wailing over the same old problems. God is not a genie. He is not a jinn. He is not a magic 8 ball. If He put something on your heart you MUST go after it with reckless abandon. Yes, there are times when you are in trouble and you need to adhere to Psalm 46:10 “be still and know I am God”. HOWEVER, life is war. Success is war. Progress is war. You must be willing to fight and TAKE what you KNOW God has put on your heart for you to have. Going back to Jeremiah 29:11 “for I know the thoughts I thinketh towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end”.

Poverty and lack are not in there. You will suffer, you will fight, you will cry. Why? Because life can be a bitch. But if you want something as bad as you want to breathe air, that’s what has been put on your heart by God. You must go out and create opportunities for yourself under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. You must go out and conquer your Canaan, regardless of the circumstances that seem much bigger than you. Why? Because that’s God’s perfect will.

I have some other alternative views on Jehovah’s “will” for our life that I may enumerate another day, but I am one that subscribes to a theory that God doesn’t care whether you become the president of the US or the principal at your local school, as long as you accept his Son. Therefore, to get so caught up in the weakling’s discourse of “is this God’s will?” during a job hunt becomes murky ground for me. Jesus said that God can make a pearl appear in a fish’s mouth if you have the faith. He controls nature for crying out loud, act as someone who is His child and take a bold stance with life.

It is his will that you “may have life and have it more abundantly” (John 10:10), whether that is financially, spiritually, emotionally, or romantically is between you and God. It is a dual relationship. Stop living defeated and talk to Him about what you want. Align your thoughts and heart with His (“draw nigh unto God and He will draw nigh unto you” James 4:8). & you will KNOW His will for your life.

It will then be up to you to choose whether or not you believe it.

Are you a Joshua? Will you bullishly believe what God puts in your spirit? Or are you like the other 10? Afraid of conflict because its not the easiest thing God couldve done?

When you answer that you’ll know why you haven’t paid rent or gotten the promotion.

Be courageous. Be crazy. Be confident. God loves it. Its the craziest of the bunch he exalts to places of esteem.

Why is Love So Hard to Find?

I haven’t posted in quite a long time, so I figured I might as well get back into the swing of things. Pretty much everything (much to my analytical chagrin) has been primarily love related.

Tonight shall be no different.

Since I started my first blog almost 2 years ago, I have waxed old with anecdotes and insight about how I perceive the old bastard we can love. I’ve sort of taken my readers on a journey through the psyche of a young, developing romantic, paradoxically crippled by his impatience, superficiality, inability to take his or anyone else’s advice, and his obsession with intimacy.

Now that I’m just a little wiser, I’ve picked up a few more things that may be of interest to those who fancy themselves inquirers into the deeper machinations of human nature and the human condition. Before I begin, let me clarify something and that’s the difference between human nature & the human condition.

1) Human nature – the unyielding, unchanging, basic principles of existence. Its the reason we still read the Bible, the Epic of Gilgamesh, the Koran, and Shakespeare all the while searching for deeper meanings to extricate. It is the elemental impetus behind who we are on a macro scale. Our need for love, our search for meaning & purpose, our inquisition into the nature of God, the nature of existence. It also explains the greed, the cruelty, and the other parts of humanity which boast ill repute. It is embodied by the proverbial yin & yang, the cosmic balance between good and evil which is inherent in all of us.

2) Human Condition (or Experience) – this is the constantly shifting, highly fluid tangible expression we know as life. Each and every person who has walked on this earth, is walking on this earth, or will walk experiences something completely different. The Condition is highly specialized and is sculpted by genetic predispositions, environment, personalities, and other extraneous stimuli. The Condition is what people refer to when they say “life is short” or “life is hard” and these logical fallacies are testaments to people’s gross misunderstanding of the Condition itself. Life or the Condition is not hard, easy, complex, simple, short, long, black, white or any other rudimentary adjective our highly developed, yet woefully misguided neocortex can put together. Life is simply life.

Okay, now that that is out of the way, let’s get to what I want to talk about…. Love. But I will be using human nature & the condition so I wanted yall to be familiar with the subtleties of each.

Human nature drives and every one of us to want love; however, each person’s condition dictates when and if they’ll actually find it. For some like myself, my condition has been subjected to a rather robust display of lifetime commitment via my parents. Therefore, I have spent obscene amounts of my life trying to emulate them, every time to my disappointment. Then you have my spectral opposites, those never plan on getting married or shun intimacy altogether. I don’t agree that those people will never want love, but instead their condition has created a sort of emotional necrosis, diminishing their current want for it. Regardless, the urge still exists via the nature of man, just partially dormant.

Every generation since the ancient days has had a “zeitgeist” or “spirit of the times”, which have defined those individuals. For the sake of relevance I’m only going to take into consideration those from Silent Generation on. So the Silents, Baby Boomers, Generation X, and of course our confused youths Generation Y (and also Generation Green & Z for some sociologists).

Generation Y and the Silents/Baby Boomers are the foundational blocks by which I’m basing this post. Our overtly traditional grandparents (silents) are known best for their unwavering adherence to tradition. Few ever considered divorce an option. Boomers on the other hand were among the first to create a society of options. Interracial dating, more and more syncretism between cultures, and looser regulations highlighted this era. Baby Boomers are now known for having an alarming rate of divorces.

But why? I’m skipping a lot for the sake of my thumbs pecking away at this blasted Blackberry, but it boils down to something I like to call “plausible futility”. Plausible futility is the realization that almost anything that happens on this earth, even if it appears good, will in fact have repercussions. The Baby Boomers ushered in the civil rights movement, greater social acceptance, and other incredible milestones in American/human history. However, greater social and cognitive freedom created an unstable milieu, one where more choices were suddenly available. They further exacerbated this double edged sword by creating even more freedom for our present generation, Y. Here we are as twentysomethings connected wirelessly to 95% of the world, staring at celebrities, and having greater access to both good and bad information.

How has this affected love? Well let’s look at our generation. We are the quintessence of ADHD, unable to focus due to the overwhelming cacophony of stimuli bombarding us at any moment. We are in love with the essences of traditional constructs like love and God; however, we shun the institutional entities which accompany them like marriage and church. We see our parents, aunts, uncles, and adult friends’ relationships wither and die. So although we cherish the idea of commitment, the cons of marriage have conditioned us to repel it. Furthermore, in big metropolitan areas like LA where I live, the notion of love is an ever present foreigner. We all know it, but few of us understand it enough to fathom its origins.

The Silents found stability because the condition was simpler then. With the advent of technology and other social milestones, society became increasingly more complex and free. This juxtaposition has snowballed into what we have today, a cauldron of confusion. Every generation has undoubtedly elicited head nods from their elders, even the flapper girls from the 20s; however, no generation has been as subconsciously saturated as us Millienials (Gen Y).

This oversaturation is exhibited daily in our perceptions.

We see divorce, variety, and sheer instability in this world and it makes this quest all the more repulsive. I do not envy the Silents’ milieu, although they had stability, they also were shackled by the same parameters which made that stability possible. As the world burgeoned and burst at the seams, the possibilities increased exponentially and man collectively lost sight of the older ways…

When I think of love, I have a very “old school”, traditional understanding of it. Two people who devote their lives to one another. Not just commit, devote. I live my life for you and you life yours for me. Those words are damn near blasphemous in this world. I can barely get a young woman to understand why I want to hear from her everyday, let alone get her to start making decisions with me in mind.

I know I’ve jumped all over the placed and written a rather scathing review on love in 2012; however, I will concede that regardless of how we look now, we will probably be fine once we figure out how to restabilize our condition. Love must be organic, fluid, natural. In a world which shifts daily and hinges evermore on foolishness, finding that fluidity is challenging.

A little about me in conclusion…

The woman of my dreams at this point is faceless, formless. I will know her by her energy. She will inspire me, not by her supreme intellect or illustrious physique, but by her ability to show me she cares. It will be a spark so absolute, so masterfully lit that I will be ablaze before I even knew we were flammable. I have opened my heart to many women who had no business occupying that space, but those uncomfortable moments taught me what I’m looking for. As a thinker I tend to have to force myself to accept things, but the organic love that the human nature craves needs no forcing or coercion.

I will know the woman of my destiny by her spirit, not her body.

Bryce

Masterful Creation

You are the quintessence of visual splendor,
The preferred vendor
Of aesthetics and tender
Caresses upon the eyes,
A bender,
A physical anomaly in time & space,
A lender,
Of temporal trysts with beauty’s face;
I become a sender,
Of constant adoration,
Incessant admiration,
Your existence; my ceaseless inspiration,
My every sinew’s undulation,
Vibrates at frequencies,
With such elation,
If ever I experience trepidation,
Experience has taught me,
Your designation as my sunlight,
Eliminates all consternation.
Sweet child, sweet child,
I pledge allegiance to your nation,
And await the sensation,
Of arms wrapped tight around
This perfect creation

Bryce

Synergy

he said
‘my dream come true is to make your dreams come true’,
seems that Cupid’s whipped up a wicked brew,
and they that were once two, indelibly are now one.
Man….
“I am the honored son,
Of a pastor and woman of God who decided to run,
With the love that the Ancient of Days,
Placed in their beings,
I am the blessed creation,
Of two people who taught me how to love strong,
Love long,
Love right when the world is hellbent on love wrong,
Yes.”
He told her with tears forming,
“I am yours.
I am yours.
When my eyes close it is your form that,
Plays against my eyelids,
It is your beautiful shape,
That dances in my mind’s optics,
Even when I try to stop it,
I picture your image subtlely nodding no,
And I know,
That this is utterly right.
I’m yours baby girl tonight,
And every 24 hours from now until eternity,
I’m yours eternally,
Internally, my hearth burns for you,
Yearns for you,
Churns for you,
I am yours….”
He took her hand,
Small and delicate in his own,
And kissed it wholeheartedly,
Her skin upon his lips were mesmerizing,
And he could feel his essence rising,
Yes.
He was hers.
He was hers.
The interminable flame in his soul had been lit,
And he surrendered to its heat.
To its might.
He looked deeply into her eyes.
Into her very soul,
And was pleased with the view.
“I am here for you”

She softly replied,
“Baby I’m here for you too”

Synergy.

Bryce