I Remember

I remember.

I remember when I made the choice to expose this soul to you.

Complicated choices seem to underline the human condition;

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have rear rations —

Nevertheless, I opened this crypt to you.

With my stultified chest laid bare, I took a leap of faith.

What’s the worst that could happen? You were my friend.

You were my friend.

Our love was supposed to be an inevitability.

Our connection was supposed to be incontrovertible;

Yet here I am with tear stained cheeks,

Afraid of the minutes, the hours, the days, the weeks,

Afraid as I turn within myself and my resolve turns weak.

Mechanisms, they are impotent here.

Fear, it runs rampant here.

My explanations, you disdain for their technicality,

My consternation, you disdain for its bleak reality.

My logic has become my epic stumbling block.

All of the machinations at my conscious employ

Do nothing to bring you closer

I can already feel you farther.

Every passing moment our gravity weakens 

And with it my sanity.

The dissolution will be my undoing

It’s unbecoming for a man to admit such frailty

Yet here I am.

I feel as though I am perennially the untoward vagrant,

Speaking some strange tongue as he begs in new lands,

Your heart was my Promised place, hallowed ground

But now everything is little more than fallow.